Monday, February 10, 2014

It was a Roller-Coaster Day...{Oh, the Irony...}

Today was a CLASSIC Roller-Coaster Day.
It had ups, it had downs.
It variably flew by and dragged on endlessly.
It was a normal Monday
and one of the most frustrating days I've had in a long time.
I was cozy in the comfort that I was loved by dear friends,
and I was assailed with doubts that I was going to end up all alone.
Like I said,
today was a CLASSIC Roller-Coaster Day..

I know I don't typically write in this kind of lifestyle fashion,
and I actually have a couple of other posts in the works 
that I could finish up and share with you,
but I feel today was the epitome of day in my Roller-Coaster Life.
So if you have a few minutes,
I'd like to share it with you.

This morning started off as a normal, ordinary Monday.
I had to be at work at 6:30 and for once I was actually on time 
(not running out the door like a mad woman to make it to work on time).
I got to Thomas Jefferson and was surprised to see
that the snow (from Saturday night) had not been plowed from the parking lot.
I grumbled a bit under my breath that
I was probably going to fall and break an ankle
(thankfully, I did not).

Before arriving at the school, 
I had already received a couple of text messages from my boss. 
(This is nothing new).
However, in one of the messages, 
she mentioned that she would not be in to work today
and I needed to inform the other Y-Achievement staff.
I accomplished this without question or hesitation.
And that's where it began.

After the morning shift at the school,
I headed for the YMCA as per my usual custom.
Upon arrival, I had a constant stream of people in and out of my office.
Basically, I didn't get much accomplished on the office front today.
When this happens, I get irritated.
Frankly, I have too many tasks to accomplish
to be able to afford a low production day.
But I tried to shrug this off and not let it bother me.

I had planned on leaving the YMCA an hour early
as today was the due date for my final assignment
in my online class: Software Applications in Healthcare
and I knew I was going to need extra time to accomplish the task.
Well, that didn't happen.
So then I had the stress of that undone assignment resting on my shoulders.

I decided to remain at the YMCA and use their WIFI to try to
--at least--start on the assignment
(I have been having problems with this class from the beginning
and was starting to wondering if some of it 
might have been caused by my internet connection.
Therefore, I thought I would try using the YMCA's internet)
Unfortunately, the program acted the same way
on the YMCA's WIFI as it did on my own home connection
and I was unable to complete the assignment.

I struggled with this assignment and the computer system for nearly three hours.
And, that three hours, passed in the blink of an eye.
I completely missed lunch
and was worried that I was going to be late 
returning to Thomas Jefferson for the afternoon shift.
Furthermore, I had wanted to stop at at ATM
and make a deposit before returning to the school.

I thought to myself:
"Oh, it won't take long to deposit the cash,
you have time."
Well, I HAD time before the first ATM I stopped at 
refused to take my deposit.
I have no idea.
I straightened the bills
and even tried inserting them one at a time.
To no avail.
I ended up seeking out an ATM,
which took the deposit just fine.

By this time, having missed lunch,
naturally, I was STARVING
and I knew that the popcorn I planned on giving to the children
at snack time would not cut it for me.
So I did something that I hate doing.
I stopped and bought fast food
that I didn't really want 
because it was cheaper than the Chinese take-out 
that I was craving.

This, of course, brought my financial situation to mind
and I got caught up in that mess for a few moments.
I have admitted in the past that the financial situation I am in
is the consequence of my own actions.
Today, that fact made me even more irate than I already was.
That's when I knew I had to stop myself
from re-analyzing that situation all over again.

The next thing I knew,
the words of one of my favorite church songs
were running through my head.
"I know the Peace-Speaker.
I know Him by Name.
I know the Peace-Speaker.
He controls the winds and the waves.
When He says, 'Peace. Be Still'
They have to obey.
I know the Peace-Speaker.
I know Him by Name."

By the time I got threw those words,
it was like the Peace-Speaker was literally sitting in my car with me.
I felt so much better. 
Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
But I also felt a bit like a limp dishrag.
Tired and definitely not up to facing twenty-five little children
for the next three hours.

So as I was literally pulling into the school parking lot,
I said a quick prayer,
"Lord, You're gonna have to help me right now.
I'm not sure I'm up to this."
Boy, am I glad I took time to pray!
The afternoon say the least.

I can tell that the weather has gotten to the children
and they are beyond tired of being cooped up indoors.
We had multiple time-outs
one of which resulted in a temper-tantrum
that caused the little girl to hit her head on an open filing cabinet drawer.
Which subsequently caused me 
to pick her up and hurt my finally healing wrist
from a previously injury a few weeks ago.
(That's another story for another time)

I was SSSSOOOO ready for 6pm to roll around.
But it seemed like it took double the time
it usually does.
Then, of course, as the children started getting picked up
and I was able to regain a bit of my sanity,
the thought of that undone homework assignment
started weighing on my mind again.

I was unable to attend church service this evening
for the second Monday in a row due to this awful class.
That fact put me back in a bit of a foul mood
and along with my hurting wrist
basically made me a horrible dinner partner for my mother.
(Sorry, Mom...)
I did help her clean up the kitchen
as is our normal routine,
but escaped to my bedroom to work on that aggravating homework
as soon as I could.

While working on the assignment,
my mind kept wandering back to the post
I wrote yesterday about committing to my relationships
(If you would like to read more about it,
please click here.)
I began having doubts that the relationships I was so gung-ho (sp?)
about committing to wouldn't do the same for me.
Basically, I just had to make myself not go there
because if I would let them,
my emotions would run away with me
and then I DEFINITELY wouldn't get my homework done!

After hours of plugging away at the assignment,
I turned it in with three hours to spare.
For what? The third time today?
A burden was lifted off my shoulders.
Then the irony of the day hit me.

I've been saying from the beginning that
I live a Roller-Coaster Life.
Why should I be surprised when I have days like this?
Why don't I expect them
and stayed geared up with the equipment
to fight the up and down emotions that go with such a day?

Quite honestly, I don't know the answer to that question.
Perhaps on some weird level I enjoy the unpredictability of days like today.
Maybe I get some pleasure out of having a Roller-Coaster Day
and at the end of it still coming out on top.
Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.
(I've been called that a time or two in my life...)

I don't know.
But I do know this.
I do truly live a Roller-Coaster Life.
I think in some ways, we all do.
And none of us have a book of play by plays
to help us maneuver the twists and turns
that get thrown at us.
We just have to hold tight to the Hand of Jesus
as He guides along the path He has set out for us.
'Cause that's the truth of it, you know...
He's with us every step of the way.
And even though we don't know what tomorrow will bring,
He does and He's prepared to assist however we will let Him.

Like I said earlier,
this is kind of a different type of post for me.
But I couldn't get away from the irony it all.
I hope you enjoyed reading it.
And I hope you will stop by again soon!

Have a good night!
I pray you rest well so you can face whatever
tomorrow brings your way.

Love and prayers,