Wednesday, April 9, 2014

How to Deal with Loss...{ALWAYS Go Back to What You KNOW}

Good Afternoon, Dear Ones.
I've had a heavy subject on my mind for a few days now:

It's a difficult subject to discuss.
I don't know that many people would voluntarily discuss the subject,
but today, I'm going to.
Not because I think I have some great insight into dealing with it,
but because I've experienced quite a bit of loss lately.
And frankly, I need to process it.
And I process best while writing.
So here goes...
There are many different varieties of loss.
Some extreme and some minor,
but they affect each and every one of us in individual ways.

There's loss as in death.
You've lost a loved one to the finality of death
and there's no hope of meeting them again on this earth.

There's loss as in something or someone is suddenly missing from your life.
Someone you care about has simply fallen off the grid
and you are unsure of their safety and/or ultimate return to you.

There's loss of a material things.
You've misplaced one of your favorite shoes
and have searched high and low for it, but to no avail.

And then there's loss of immaterial things.
The dreams that seemed to be in your grasp
now seem further away than ever.
The sense of confidence that you carried yourself with
has been ripped from you.
The sense of security that let you sleep well at night is simply gone.

My point of saying all of this is:
There are different kinds of loss.
And they all affect us in individually unique ways.
We can try our utmost to prepare for the sting of the loss,
but there are somethings in life you just can't prepare for.

Loss is hard.
It can swoop in from out of nowhere and cause your world to shift.
It causes you to question things you've never questioned before.

"Does God really understand how I feel?
Would He have allowed this if He'd known how it would hurt me?"

Loss also brings doubts to the surface.
In my opinion, Loss and Doubt are Best Friends.
"Does God really have a purpose for my life?
Can I still trust God to take care of me?"

I'm going to be honest,
I know the answers to these questions.
Yes, God understands how I feel.
Yes, He knew this loss would hurt me,
but He allowed it my life to beautify me.
Yes, God has a purpose for me.
The most basic of which is this:
He wants me to be a worshiper.
Yes, God is still going to take care of me just like He always has.

Like I said, I KNOW these are the right answers to these questions.
But sometimes loss obscures my ability to see these truths.
Basically, I'm saying that I don't FEEL like the things I KNOW really are correct.
To reference Max Lucado,
sometimes loss alters my view of God.
Like seeing Him through shattered glass.
(Check out Max Lucado's book
In the Eye of the Storm.
He wrote a whole chapter on Seeing God Through Shattered Glass.)

When this blog was still new,
I wrote a post: ALWAYS Go Back to What You KNOW.
This is what I have to do when facing seasons of loss.
I have to put my feelings aside
and not them ride me
and, instead, focus on the things I Know.
This is not easiest thing to do.
No, it's actually easier to fall completely apart
and wallow around in self pity for a while.
But that just does more harm than good.

So instead I CHOOSE to Go Back to What I Know.
I CHOOSE to remember the promises of God that are YES and AMEN!
I CHOOSE to trust His heart when I can't see the movement of His Hand.

Does this completely absolve me of the sting of the loss?
Am I miraculously, instantly better?
I have to make this choice OVER and OVER AGAIN.
But soon the sting doesn't hurt as badly
and the things I KNOW don't seem so hard to believe again.
Dealing with loss is a process.
It's not going to happen overnight.
Keep choosing to believe what you KNOW is true
and I promise, you'll get through this.

Don't forget:

You know it's true! :)
Had to make you smile somehow!

If you need a listening ear,
I'm right here.
And, of course, so is Jesus!
I'm praying for you.